Sunday, October 08, 2006. 1:10 am
Just let it happen.

I wanted to tell you how I let the half-inch-high white porcelain rabbit, the one I tore off my sister’s fourth grade diorama,  fall off my night stand – snapping his perky ear clean off.  I wanted to tell you how I don’t give enough of a shit to glue it back on.


I wanted to tell you how my feet get tangled in the phone wires – metaphorically speaking, of course – but I also wanted to tell you that I’m comfortable with that.

I wanted to tell you that I sometimes paint glitter on my nails, then think twice and reach for the acetone.


I wanted to tell you about my “dusted rose” scars, and my “eggshell white” scars, and the lump on my left thumb that lacks a fingerprint.


I wanted to tell you how Orion’s belt skips down the bridge of my nose, and how many of my “beauty marks” have faded so quickly away.


I wanted to tell you how I still blame myself for thoughts I had fourteen years ago.


But I won’t tell you, and you won’t know.

Friday, August 25, 2006. 2:36 pm
Or I won't.

Ahh, the power of a self-directed rhetorical question.


I might just learn something today.

Friday, August 25, 2006. 9:56 am
This, I must remind myself.

And though that might be true, honey – we’re all just working toward a goal that needs to be met.  And for that, sacrifices must be made.


In other words: your views are worthless here.

My voice overrides yours and you will accept it.


None of us are sorry.  Here’s the mass-produced apology to prove it.

Monday, August 21, 2006. 3:01 am
For everybody that hasn't quite gotten it yet:

I've changed my tag handle to Xeideus and am now writing at Xenouveau.  It doesn't exactly feel like home yet, but I do feel more myself.


I'll probably keep SadisticLand alive, as I've written some things on here that I'd like to keep around, but I can't say that anything new will be posted on it.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006. 1:41 am
I want to know:

Everything about every person, place, and thing…all the time.  I am perpetually feeling intellectually famished.  I can guarantee that my hunger will not be satisfied until I am lying on my back with an oversized rock hanging out about six feet above my head.  I didn’t write “make use of the forbidden fruit” for nothing, you know.


You know what else?  I believe there is something called a “happy medium” between practicality and recreation.  And guess what!  I’m going to enjoy it.  Try and stop me.

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The work of a woman
dubbed to be brilliant.
Often moody,
but nothing conventional.
Inspired by actual occurrences,
built to entertain.
Not always work safe.
Never mundane.
Don’t be shy.
Watch your step;
all is fragile here.


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A quick nibble.
of the Craft

Sink your teeth in.

Xeideus tastes:
The current mood of DoctorGod at

I also author at:
Osmotic Maelstrom

Doctor recommended, divinely approved:
Yen - If the Collar Fits
Anna - Scraps
Solender - The Modern Mythology
Anonymous Postcards - PostSecret

Credit to Deanna for creating my mini banner. Also credit to Push for making me my blinkie. Thanks!

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Since May 3, 2004

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